The Confession in the Cocktail
by AnnFleur
Summary: Set after 6x20, because the lie wasn't really a lie, was it.
1. Prologue

**[Author's Note: Officially a one-shot, but I might continue it if I feel it's going somewhere. Spoilers for season 6, however minor. Set right after 6x20, because I loved it but the lie wasn't a lie, was it. Please, R&R!]**

The Confession in the Cocktail.

After Booth's confession to Brennan, he actually felt better. She had been sweet in her response, telling him that it hadn't actually been a lie and that she had been happy to be able to help him when he was going through the depression shortly after his breakup with Hannah.

They were still at the bar, drinking and chatting about the case. Brennan hadn't mentioned radical truth or lies again, but he saw in her eyes that she was still wondering about a real lie from him to her. He was panicking a little, dreading the moment when she would ask him, but right now she seemed to lack the courage to put her heart at risk again. He wanted to tell her she shouldn't worry, that he was actually merely protecting her and that she would come to know everything when the last of her imperviousness would be gone, but something in her eyes told him she'd bring it up again this evening. She was drinking quite a lot and he joined her, just to make sure the liquor gave him the courage needed to answer her truthfully.

Brennan felt relieved at Booth's confession of a lie to her, but also, she knew he knew it wasn't really a lie. It was withholding information, and even though that could be considered obstructing a police investigation just as well as lying, it wasn't the same. She feared his actual lies to her but she felt they were in a point in their relationship in which they should be able to really open up to each other. They always had in the past, and she knew that his lies would probably be small and inconsequential, but still, the fact that he hadn't shared a real lie with her, bothered her.

And thinking about it had made her realize something about herself, as well.

She had also been lying. Not to Booth, but to herself.

After a few more shots of tequila and ordering a colourful cocktail, Booth raised an eyebrow at her. 'You sure you want to order more?'

'Yes, I'm positive,' she answered. 'You want one as well?'

'I'm not sure I can handle the combination, thanks,' he answered, and downed another tequila. She nodded. 'Sure. You shouldn't push your limits of alcohol tolerance, I have seen in the past your tolerance levels are lower than mine.'

'Is that a challenge?' he smiled.

'No, an observation,' she answered.

He sighed, gathering focus and courage for his next comment.

'Wanna hear an observation I made just now?'

She looked at him, frowning. 'You're barely in the condition to make rational observations, Booth.'

'And you are? Come on, Bones. Spill. I know you're still worried about this lying thing. I told you something, but you're not happy with it, are you.'

After a moment of silence and another tequila, Brennan met his eyes. 'All right. Yes, I'm still worried. You chose to tell me something, but it wasn't a real lie. You're still hiding them from me and I thought we were past that. It only shows how inadequate my social skills are, because I thought you were actually going to share a lie with me. I misread you and now I'm confused.'

The alcohol had started to talk with her, her usual confidence slowly leaving her eyes, as it usually did when she got intoxicated. With other people, confidence came with the cocktails. For Brennan, it left to make room for the cocktails.

Fortunately, Booth was on of the other people, and he got bolder once he had had a certain amount of alcohol. Connecting his eyes with hers in a way only they could, he looked into her baby blue eyes. 'Ok. I'll tell you a real lie, but only if you tell me one as well.'

'I told you, I never lied to you,' she answered.

'I bet that is either not true, or you lied to someone else about me,' he said, taking her breath away with the sudden clarity he provided. He was right. She had lied to others about her feelings for Booth. She did it all the time. And of course she lied to herself, although she had stopped doing that after they wrote down and burned their date after being trapped in the elevator. That night had provided her with a calmness and warmth she had needed to see through her own lies.

'Deal. You tell me first, though, you owe me that,' she said.

He nodded. 'Ok. I.. I really lied to you when I said.. Damn, this is hard,' he said. 'I really want to tell you this, because it's important that you know it, but it's huge, Bones. You know what I'm talking about here, right? It's huge.'

'Yes, it is either about your feelings for me or about Hannah, am I right?' In reality, it was just a wild guess, but she was right. 'Yeah, about both, actually,' Booth answered. 'But I just need you to trust me, ok? And believe me, but don't make it into something it isn't. It's just a confession, nothing more. It doesn't change anything.'

She was getting quite nervous by this point, so she took a generous gulp of the cocktail that had arrived. 'I won't make it into something it isn't.' she assured him.

'Ok. You remember in the car, after the Eames case?'

She nodded. Of course she remembered. It was when her heart was ripped out of her chest and positively crushed and crumbled to tiny little pieces, which she was still trying to recover.

'Well, I.. I told you that she, Hannah, wasn't a consolation prize.'

Brennan nodded. 'And that you loved her.'

'Yeah. But I just.. I just meant that I loved her, you know, as a woman. She wasn't you, Bones. No one is.'

She ate the piece of pineapple that was in her cocktail and looked at him. 'So what was the lie?'

He sighed. 'That she wasn't a consolation prize. Of course she was. I was hurt, my confidence was shattered and my ego bruised, I went away to be a hero and I found her, our attraction was real but it wasn't love then. I.. Fulfilled my sexual desires, so to say. And then I projected onto her what I wanted from you.'

'Now you sound like a psychologist,' Brennan said. 'But thank you for sharing that.' Her voice was soft and her eyes were focussed on her drink. He looked at her, his eyes pleading for her to say something more. 'Yeah? You really understand that? I'm a loyal man, Bones, and that was the only reason I didn't go home with you that night. And I'm so sorry, I know you needed me and I know I should have gone with you.'

'You don't have to explain yourself, Booth. I understand,' Brennan answered. 'I shouldn't have asked that of you then.'

They were silent for a while, and suddenly, the dam broke and Brennan started talking.

'I lied as well, that night. I said I could adjust. But I couldn't, Booth. I don't have your kind of heart, my heart is somehow different, even though anatomically it's the same. My heart takes much longer to heal. I didn't know what to say, so I said I'd adjust, because I wanted to believe it. But it was a lie.'

'I'm so sorry, Bones,' he whispered, his hand finding hers on the table. 'I know how much it must hurt you. I should never have turned you down like that.'

'No, it was the right thing to do, after all, I did the same to you,' she said, withdrawing her hand.

'Yeah, but I can take it. It hurt so badly because I didn't understand your reasons. I really didn't. I said you were right, but I didn't understand.'

She looked at him, her lips pressed together, her eyes blue with impending tears. 'So.. Then you lied to me as well?'

He nodded. 'I guess. But you see now that lies are for your own protection sometimes? I couldn't push you more, I knew I did the wrong thing by asking that much of you and then I needed to protect you from me. You see that now? I wanted it all. Everything, and I just didn't understand your reasons for saying no, but I had to put you ahead of myself. If I had asked another explanation, would you have been able to give one?'

She shook her head. 'I just.. I was positive I couldn't be what you needed. I'm still not entirely sure. If you would have pushed me I would have most likely withdrawn.'

Booth closed his eyes for a second. 'Damn, this liquor is really messing with my mind.'

She nodded. 'I feel I'm slightly intoxicated as well. But.. I'm glad we can be honest with each other.'

'Yeah, me too, Bones,' he said, looking at her and taking her hand one more time. This time, she didn't withdraw. 'You know what was honest truth though?'

'No,' she said. 'I should imagine you tell the truth most of the time so I cannot possibly know which instant you're implying.'

'Right. Honest to God truth when I said that I love you. You know, after the coma.'

'When you added 'in an atta girl kinda way.'

'Yeah, that wasn't true, though. You scared the shit out of me with the look in your eyes. You looked as if you were ready to jump off the highest building in town if I didn't finish that sentence that way.'

Brennan nodded. 'Yeah, I was taken aback. But now, I accept your confession.'

'Great. Wanna go home and grab a coffee before we have a major hangover tomorrow?'

'Sure,' she said, withdrawing her hand from his grasp and getting her wallet to pay the bill. He beat her to it, leaving a generous tip and offering her coat to her, he watched her graciously slipping into it.

He followed her to his car, thinking about all the little things they knew about each other. He knew she had taken a cab here because she always did. He knew she'd try to drive because she always did. He knew she'd then try to get them both a cab because she always insisted on driving or taking a cab when he had too much to drink. He knew he'd never win her argument and he knew they'd end up in a cab. He knew he'd have to walk back here in the morning to collect his car. He knew she would be ready when he would pick her up to go to the lab or to a case. He knew so much about her, and he also knew there were a lot of things still to be uncovered about Temperance Brennan. But they were getting there.

Slowly but surely, his anger was dissipating and his thoughts were collected again. His heart was healing and it was more open than ever to every single movement she made. It wouldn't be long before he would be ready to take his chances with her again, and he knew she would be scared, but brave and trusting enough to give it a shot as well. He couldn't wait.


	2. The Life She Imagined

The Confession in the Cocktail 2

The Life She Imagined.

[**Author's note: Last nights episode touched me so deeply that I couldn't get this one scene out of my head, the scene I wish they had ended with (or something along those lines).]**

As she walked away from the Jeffersonian, towards the diner, Booth at her side like always, she thought about what they had just done. Aristew had been right, she had taken the case personal again. And it had left her worried and confused, just like last time. However this time they had been able to bring something good out of it, so she felt a little bit better than last time, when Booth had carefully rejected her.

Now, everything was different. They had a silent agreement, and Booth, who was walking next to her, was thinking about that agreement as they approached the diner. Just a few hours ago she had confessed to him that she was soon going to be the only one without a child, and Booth knew that bothered her more than she had lead him to believe.

He held the door open for her to enter and then followed her to their usual table at the window. He ordered fries and a burger and fruit salad for her, without discussing it, because he knew she always had that salad. Another one of those important, subconscious facts, he thought to himself.

Brennan was quiet, and Booth observed her carefully.

'You did a great job with that girl, Bones,' he complimented her.

She looked at him. 'I could relate to her situation and I found that to be a great help.'

'Yeah, I'm sure that helped, but I mean.. In the end, it was you who knew what to say, not your experiences, right?'

Brennan thought for a minute. 'Yes.'

He sighed. 'Look.. Bones, I know what Sweets said, and I know it hurt you, but he was wrong and he knows it. He was way out of line.'

She shook her head. 'I don't want to talk about that. If I had the means to show what I mean or how I feel all the time I would show it, believe me.'

'I know, Bones. But it's not your fault, you see. It's Sweets' fault because he forgot to look past your top layer.'

'My top layer, Booth, consists of epidermis..' he interrupted her. 'Don't start. You know what I mean.'

She nodded, 'I'm sorry. But doesn't the same apply to you?'

He frowned. 'How do you mean?'

'You have to look past your own top layer as well. Parker is very lucky to have you, but all you see is your one mistake today. People lose control sometimes. That doesn't mean you're a bad person.'

He smiled. 'Is that you lecturing me on people's feelings, Bones?'

She shrugged it off. 'Just don't knock yourself up about it.'

He smiled an even sweeter smile at her. 'Beat yourself up, Bones. Beat.'

They ate in silence for a while, before she spoke again, suddenly breaking the comfortable silence. 'I don't want you to feel pressure because of what I said.'

He stopped eating, his hand stopped dead halfway between his mouth and the plate. 'Pressure? Why?'

'Because what I said about children. I didn't mean I want to have a child right now.'

'Bones, I know it's a wish you have and I think you'd be a wonderful mother. I understand very well that the current situation is probably stressing you out a bit, but..'

She cut him off. 'It's not stressing me out. It's just.. I'd like to have that too, some day,' she ended quietly, looking down.

His heart melted at the sound of her voice, her sincerity hit him like a bullet.

'I know, Bones. I want you to have that. Hey, look at me,' he said, finding her eyes with his.

She looked at him and suddenly she didn't understand why she was so afraid. This man would help her through anything. How was it that conceiving and raising a child didn't scare her half as much as being together with this man? She had no idea. The look in his eyes was utter and pure love, adoration and hope. She hoped she was conveying the same thing.

He, however, saw the fear and confusion in her eyes. Some people said her blue eyes made her look even more cold, but he disagreed. If people only took the time to really look at her, they'd see that every time she said something cold or harsh, her eyes would tell a completely different story. They were compassionate, open, honest and showed her great capability of love and devotion.

Right now, however, he saw only a glimpse of that love and devotion, hidden behind primal fear and insecurities. 'Hey..' he said, trying to calm and reassure her with his voice and eyes.

'I know you want to have that, and you will. I know you will.'

She tore her gaze away from him. 'Booth, in order to conceive a child I would need a compatible mate who is willing to be a father to my child. I don't want to be a single parent, contradictory to what I believed at first. It would be beneficial to my child to grow up with two parents. However, I do not have the luxury of a steady relationship, so therefore, having a child would be neither possible nor responsible.'

He was waging a war inside his heart. This was his moment to reassure her. To tell her what he wanted was exactly what she wanted. And that he felt he was ready. But still, he was afraid of getting heartbroken once again. Was she ready? Would she accept his statement or would she run? Before their eyes had met, he had been sure of himself. This was the night. But seeing that deeply rooted fear still present in her eyes had shaken his confidence. Only he knew her so well, too well to walk away again. She needed to hear it first before she could return it. It might take a while, but she loved him already. She just needed to build up the courage and strength to openly show her affection.

'Bones.. I.. I lied to you. Back when you wanted my.. Stuff, you know, to have a baby.'

She frowned, her eyes more fearful than before. 'About what?'

'Technically, you know it already. I couldn't. I couldn't let you have a baby and not let me be the father. Even back then.. I.. I thought we could be a family. Bones, I loved you, even back then.'

She looked at him, her lips slightly tense, her eyes filling with tears refusing to drop.

'Oh.'

'Yeah, and then this whole brain tumor thing happened, and we never discussed it again. Only this morning, when you said.. That you.. You know, would soon be the only one without child, I really.. Really wanted to say that it's not too late.'

'You mean I can still use your sperm? I know that, Booth.'

'No, Bones, not that. I mean I'm here. I'm ready. We can.. You know, build up to it, but I would love to have a child with you.'

He caught the look in her eyes and it made him go silent. Confusion had replaced fear and he could see her brain racing to understand, carefully trying to believe him without drawing wrong conclusions.

Then, her eyes cleared.

'I lied to you then as well.'

He didn't answer, just looked at her, encouraging her to continue.

'Multiple times, not what I think of it.'

Still, no answer, just his eyes pleading with her to see this through.

'I did want you to be the father. I was unaware at that point of your feelings for me, because I'm not very observant in that way, as you know.'

He nodded. 'Yeah.'

'I said I could raise my child alone, but I never wanted to.'

He looked at her. 'Really? Bones, you should have told me.'

'Then you had your surgery and I said you'd be fine.'

'Because statistically I would be, and I am,' he said, nodding.

'No,' she said. 'Because I wanted to reassure you and not frighten you. Your odds were not good at all, Booth. Only slightly in favor.'

He opened his mouth to talk, then closed it again.

Only when her eyes turned fearful again, because she had expected a thank you or a different, nice answer, did he speak again.

'Let's get a drink, let's get out of here.'

Later that night, both of them were not drunk but slightly intoxicated nonetheless. Booth had drunk up the courage to say what he wanted to say and he was waiting for her to feel the effects of the alcohol as well, so she would be more receptive and less on edge. When she started laughing at one of his lame jokes, he laughed with her, taking her hand across the table. Suddenly serious, she looked at him.

'Bones.. Are you drunk?'

'No, I handle my liquor very well. I am, however, feeling slightly less focused.'

'Good.'

'Why?'

Then, he decided to cut right to the chase.

'Because I want to tell you that when you're ready, we can be together, and it will work out, and then we'll have a baby, together, and it will be the best thing that ever happened to us.'

'Wow, you're drunk,' she said, but her voice betrayed her. She had heard him and she'd heard the sincerity and truth behind his slightly lower, more raspy tone.

'Maybe a bit, but I mean every word. So you better believe it. And don't feel any obligation, I want you to be sure when we do this, but just know that I'm not that angry anymore. This, us, together, is what I missed so much, Bones. It's helped me find peace and laughter again. So whenever you're ready, Bones.'

She held his gaze and he saw peace in her eyes. She accepted what he was offering and it made him very happy. He had done the right thing.

'I'm not completely ready to give up the last of my imperviousness, Booth. But I think I'm strong enough to risk losing it soon. But it's difficult, it's changing who I was into who I want to be and it's proven to be harder than I thought.'

'I know. Just.. I'm here, talk to me about anything, let's make this work.'

She nodded, grazed her thumb over his before withdrawing her hand.

'I'm sorry I lied to you. About the family thing.'

Booth shook his head. 'Don't worry, it's fine. It was my fault as well, I hadn't seen it coming. I was a bit defensive I guess.'

'Yeah, but you did what I asked you, for me, am I right?'

He nodded slowly. 'Not for myself, that's for sure. I was very uncomfortable, Bones. But I wanted to help you and I still want to help you. Only not without me being involved in _every_ way.'

She didn't miss how he emphasized 'every', and she smiled. 'Good.'

This truth thing kept helping them out, giving them new insights in their relationship. Especially Brennan appreciated it, because she needed these little moments of him showing her love to realize the impact, the grandness of this. Slowly she was starting to realize he didn't just love her as a partner or as a friend. He was in love with her, head over heels. Madly in love with every particle of her being, and she was starting to realize that that was the feeling she had been having as well. This content, deep feeling that wouldn't go away when he was around, the longing for his presence when he wasn't. She had written it off as normal side effects to being with someone so often, hadn't thought anything of it. But now, now that the feeling was acknowledged and being openly discussed, it was there more prominently, and she recognized it more often than before. And she didn't want to feel strong or independent anymore. She wanted to share her burdens with this man, and for the first time in her life, she felt he was willing to do the same.


	3. Sailing on the Ocean of Emotions

**[Author's note: I was watching old Bones episodes just now and I came across the scene that had me crying for a day when I first saw it, and I realized it was perfect for another chapter.]**

'_You,_

_You make me run,_

_You make me want to live.'_

Sailing on the ocean of emotions.

Back at her place later that night, he hadn't planned on going in, but she had offered him another drink and he admired her liquor collection and ability to stay fairly focused even though she drank as much as he, so he had agreed. They both had a slow day tomorrow being a Sunday, all they had to worry about was writing up some stuff on an old case so another drink would do no one any harm.

Once they were inside, on the couch, Brennan turned to him. 'You know, what you did when you broke up with Hannah, I did the same once.'

Booth frowned. 'What do you mean?'

Brennan sighed, figuring out how to start. 'It's a long time ago but it's still hard to talk about.'

Suddenly he understood. 'With Sully you mean?'

She nodded, grateful to him for saying it for her. 'Yeah.'

'That was hard on you, I know, and I'm so sorry it went down that way, Bones. I kind of understood why you didn't go and truth be told, I was glad, but still, it wasn't what I wanted for you, another someone you love walking out on you.'

'Yes, it affected me more than I wanted to admit. It was hard.'

'But I don't see what you did that has anything to do with what I did, Bones,' he said, happy that she trusted him enough to talk about this.

'You.. You were right behind me when I went to say goodbye. Before I saw you I felt like the loneliest person on the planet, even though I know that is rubbish. I.. I hadn't expected it to hurt that much.'

'Seeing him sail away. I know, it's hard,' Booth said, putting his arm over the back of the couch, touching her shoulder.

She looked at him, at his arm and moved a little closer so he could put his arm around her shoulders. 'It was very hard. I hadn't felt that in a while.'

He nodded. 'I understand. I followed you there because I knew you would try to do it alone. But you are never alone, Bones,' he added on a whisper. She heard it and part of her melted, while another part froze. She cursed the latter.

'What I'm really trying to say is.. I never told you how much it meant to me that you were there behind me. To take me to breakfast. It meant.. A lot.' She met his eyes and he smiled at her.

'Glad to help.'

'But Booth, I never told you. I'm sorry. I should have told you, but instead I was distant and cold. That's exactly why people think I'm cold and I don't care, but it's not true. I care.'

'Hey, I know,' he said, looking at her, finding her eyes shining with unshed tears. 'Hey, it's ok. I know you care. I always knew. You don't have to say you care for me to know, Bones.'

She didn't really believe him and he could see it. 'You amaze me sometimes, Bones. For someone so smart you sure can be ignorant sometimes. I've known you for a long time now, so I know when to ignore your comments, because I know you're just protecting yourself. You were just abandoned by him, I know how much that hurt you, I told him not ever to do that to you but he didn't listen, so..'

She interrupted him. 'You told him what? Not to leave me? Booth.. That's not fair! It's wrong, Booth.'

'No, not that, before you two.. You know, got together, he came to me for advice or something, and I told him to be careful with you because you didn't deserve see another someone you feel close to walk out of your life when things get complicated. I told him to be careful with your heart.'

Bones was silent, looking at her partner, a tear falling from the corner of her eye. Finally, she found her voice.

'You said that to him.'

Her voice was soft and raw, and Booth tightened his arm around her a little bit. 'Yeah.'

'Thanks, Booth,' she answered. 'That's nice.'

'Yeah, well, didn't do you a whole lot of good, did it.'

'But it wasn't his fault, Booth. Sully is right, you know. If you do the work we do for too long, it gets to you. It got to me before I went to Maluku. I had to get away.'

'You sure that was the reason?' he asked carefully. She nodded. 'Yes, what else would be the reason?'

He didn't answer, just looked at her, implying she should know. Then, she thought of something. 'Oh.'

'Don't say it, Bones, don't talk about it, I'm not ready. But don't you think that might have something to do with it?'

'No, absolutely not,' she answered truthfully. 'Although I don't regret that decision. I wasn't ready,' she whispered. He nodded. 'I know. And I'm sorry. And that's the last thing I want to say about it right now, ok?'

She nodded. 'Yeah. Let's discuss that at a later time.'

'Yeah, let's.' He sighed and took another sip of his drink. 'But thanks for telling me. I wondered about that for a while, you know, if it was the right thing to do, follow you there.'

'It was. I didn't appreciate it at first, for a second, but then I found out it was actually a great help to me. But that scared me, you see. I didn't want to.. I didn't want you to see me that vulnerable again. I thought I was stronger.'

'And you were, because you tried facing it alone, Bones. I just wanted to take a piece of that away for you. You know, carry your burden. Now I know you don't want that but it's what partners do. And it's what friends do.'

She nodded again. 'That was it, you took the weight off my back. We carried it together, and I never thanked you.'

'Now you did. And I'd do it again, Bones, every time. Because it's.. What we do. As partners. You did it for me, and you did the same, you took a part of my burden and you carried it for me.'

'When you broke up with Hannah. You want to know why I came?'

'Not really, no,' he shook his head. 'I'm glad you did, but.. Don't dig that up again.'

'Ok,' she answered and kept her word. But he was curious. Of course he wanted to know why she came to him that night. How she found him, what Hannah had said. But he couldn't ask her to tell him, not yet.

'You know the thing with Sully?' he changed the subject back to her.

'What makes you think you can talk about Sully when you don't want me to talk about Hannah?' Bones suddenly asked, sounding harsher than she'd meant.

'I.. I don't know, you started,' he countered. She nodded. 'Yes, I did.'

'The thing with Sully is.. He's unpredictable. He doesn't really know what he wants, ever. That's a problem.'

'Especially for me,' Brennan added. Booth nodded. 'And that's a good thing, Bones. But I don't understand how he missed that about you. How he thought you would take that leap for him, with him. Did you really consider it?'

'Yes, I did, but I came to the conclusion that I just couldn't change that much. That's why.. Never mind,' she stopped mid-sentence.

'No, tell me, it's ok,' he said, and she looked at him. 'But you just said you didn't want to talk about it.'

'Oh. That. Ok, well, I can handle it. Tell me.'

She nodded. 'Ok. Well, I.. I couldn't change for him, and I was afraid I couldn't change for you. You know, into who you wanted me to be. Because even though you didn't want me to change, that's not how I saw it, Booth. You want different things from a relationship than me.'

He shook his head. 'But I don't want those things if you don't want them. Come on, Bones, you know that.'

'That's not what I mean,' she said. 'I mean the reason wasn't you. I thought I'd screw it up because I couldn't change. I just don't know how.'

'I know,' he said. 'And I don't want you to change into someone you're not. And if you feel you have to change, and if you want to, then I'll help you, but I'm not Sully, you know. I won't take off without you just because you say no.'

She looked down and he realized something.

He had.

He had taken off without her, to Afghanistan, alone, leaving her to go to Maluku. He could have stopped her if he had tried. But so could she.

'Yeah, all right, I know I went to Afghanistan,' he added. 'But you didn't stop me. Maybe it was good for us, you know, some distance. From work and from each other.'

'Yes, I believed it was good, until we came back,' Brennan said softly, wanting to talk this out right now. It had been locking down her heart long enough now.

'With Hannah. I know, I'm sorry. But I didn't know what you wanted from me, and I was hurt, it just.. Kinda.. Happened, you know.'

'Nothing happened with me,' she said, almost accusing.

He nodded. 'I know. It's a guy thing, Bones. Honor. I won't do it again.'

Brennan shook her head. 'It's ok. I just.. I expected too much. Read too much in your promise to see each other at the coffee kart.'

'You know it had been my intention to take things forward, Bones,' he said, his voice also soft and warm, trying to reassure her as well as encourage her to say what she wanted. It worked.

'I thought that, but as it turned out, I was wrong because you had met Hannah. I was happy for you but it was the first time in my life I felt so alone and happy to see you at the same time. It's a strange feeling, coming home and finding that the one thing you missed the most is still not there,' she added, a new tear slowly leaving her eye. He saw it from the corner of his eye and turned to face her, his hand moving from her shoulder to brush away the tear.

'Hey, it's ok. That's the past. It's good to talk about it, though,' he added, and she nodded. 'I need to talk about it before I can move on.'

'I know, so do I. But it's hard, Bones.'

'For me too,' she admitted, and his hand found its reassuring place on her shoulder again. 'This will work, though. We can be honest with each other, and we are, and I like that. It's important.'

'It is, and I never realized how much I could tell you and how much it would have helped me, Booth. I didn't want to burden you with my.. insecurities, but now I understand that that's what this is about.'

He smiled at her when she used the word 'insecurities', knowing it took a great deal of courage for her to admit that, and he was proud of her. This would work, and it would be mostly because of her. Because she put in such an effort.

'Yeah, that's what it's about, Bones. Sharing pain and happiness, all of it. It's worth it in the end, I promise. I know so much about you, and I want to know even more. It's all ok, whatever you think you have to keep from me, for whatever reason, please don't tell me if you don't want to but share it if you can, because it will make us both better people.'

She remembered something that had been said to her a while ago.

'_Yes. He knows the truth of you. And he's dazzled by that truth.'_

He really was. He liked who she was, who Temperance Brennan really was. And she liked who Seeley Booth really was, for all his flaws, he was the most wonderful man she'd ever met. She had known right from the beginning he would change her life. And back then, it had scared the hell out of her. But now, so many years later, when they had shared life at its greatest and peril at its worst, she was finally ready to face the greatest fear she had. And she'd face it with him. Because that was what this was all about.

Sharing everything, the good, the bad, the unhappy and the beautiful moments life still had to offer them. After all, he wasn't Sully. If he was ever to sail away, he'd do it with her right next to him or not at all. If their boat were to capsize, he'd save her before saving himself. If the water got choppy, he'd be there to keep her safe and she found that after all these years, she wasn't scared anymore. She didn't feel guilty anymore. Her pride wasn't compromised and her independence unharmed. Imperviousness didn't seem like such a good idea anymore, because how could she ever enjoy her life if she couldn't let him share and love it with her?

'_And you,_

_You make me want to live_

_For you.'_


	4. The Filter in the Scientist

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Confession in the Cocktail 4

'You know Bones, I know you never meant to but sometimes you can come across very cold. It took me almost six years to figure out when to take you seriously and when not to,' Booth said.

It was late, and after solving a tough case Booth and Brennan were sitting in the Founding Fathers celebrating their arrest. During the case, a suspect had played the personal attack card with Brennan and he had visibly upset her. Now, Brennan wanted to talk about it, so she'd asked why it was that people often still saw her as cold, even though she thought she wasn't impervious anymore.

'_You're a cold scientist, you won't understand why I had to take care of them,' _the suspect had said. _'You'll never understand why people feel the need to take care of each other.'_

'He was a criminal, a lunatic, you know that right, Bones?' Booth asked when she had commented on the suspect. She had nodded but still, the comment had hit her hard and somewhere, Booth understood. To Bones, the man was still a man and even though he was a hard criminal, he wasn't a cold one.

So now, here they were, talking about coldness and heart, two words that many people would use to describe the partners, one applying to Bones and the other to Booth. Now, Booth wanted to convince Bones that those people were wrong. Or ignorant to say the least. But he needed her to understand when and how she came off cold to people.

'When did I hurt you with my coldness?' Brennan asked, obviously worried.

'Well, you're not very subtle when it comes to discussing me. You know that one time when we were at Sweets' office? When he talked about how we were an unlikely partnership?'

Brennan thought for a few seconds, then she nodded. 'But I don't remember saying anything.. Bad to you.'

'Not to me, about me,' he said, not wanting to say the words. Brennan still didn't remember.

'Look, the point is, you don't have a filter between your mouth and your brain. Or a tiny one. But that's ok, it's just something people who don't know you, don't appreciate. But it's actually a great thing, I admire that about you. You don't tell people things they want to hear just for the sake of making them happy. And you shouldn't.'

'But people perceive me as cold and that bothers me, Booth,' Bones pleaded with him. She wanted to change that part of her, her cold demeanor to others. But she had no idea where to start.

'I know it bothers you and I know how you feel about it. Maybe if you just.. Think about what you're going to say, you know, when it comes to people's feelings.. But you see, that's the problem. You're already so closed off when it comes to emotions, I don't want you to hold back more. It's ok to say what you want to say. Maybe just when it comes to strangers, you know? Don't just think about the truth, think about the one you're talking to, as well.'

'But Booth, you just said I hurt you too and that implies that I have to change how I talk to you as well. Because it was never my intention to hurt you, although I can't remember exactly what I said.'

'No, don't change that, please, Bones,' Booth said. 'It's just.. Damn pride, you know. You should say what you feel but just know that if I don't react the way you expected, you hurt my feelings. And that's not always a bad thing.'

'But sometimes it is,' she picked up. 'What did I say, Booth, tell me.'

He sighed. 'You really don't remember.'

'Well, we had a number of sessions with Sweets, in which I said a lot of things, so no, I don't remember this specific instance to which you are referring. Or maybe I do but I don't recognize it by your parameters.'

'All right, you know what, never mind. I'll tell you. You said to Sweets that you wouldn't even see me if it weren't for our partnership.'

Bones went silent.

Her eyes flew to his, and then dropped to the floor. Her mouth opened to say something but closed again.

'But that's ok, you know, I understand. I'm not as intelligent as you, my behavior wasn't to your liking at first, I get it, you don't have to explain. But it just.. It hurt, because I knew how I felt about you, and to hear that, was like.. Wow. Painful.'

She finally found her voice again. 'I.. I'm sorry. I didn't know I hurt you like that.'

'And again when you said we weren't in love with each other,' Booth added. She looked at him, her eyes sad.

'That I do understand. But you have to see, I didn't believe you loved me and I don't believe in luck or fate, and I only just started to believe in love, so you know, I was protecting myself.'

Booth nodded. 'I was so happy when I read what Sweets wrote. I thought about you, how you would read it and maybe like a little switch would go off in your mind, making you see that it was possible, you know, for us to be in love. That it was ok. But it didn't and I understand why, but you know, to hear you say that after reading all that and discussing our first case.. That was a blow.'

'I'm sorry,' Brennan said again. 'I will try to think about other people's feelings before I speak, but it's just.. I'm very bad at guessing people's emotions, Booth. I don't know what they're thinking. You're good at that, I'm not.'

'Then just say what you want to, Bones. That's one part out of the many I like so much about you. You're you, you say what you want, it's always true, even though it's your opinion. People are entitled to their opinion, you know, and if they can't look beyond that they're not worthy of your opinion in the first place.'

Brennan smiled. 'You're basically saying you weren't worthy of my opinion at first, either.'

'You're right, you bugged me with that attitude of yours. And I told you so, on a number of occasions. But you know.. It was.. Refreshing, as well. I knew you were right sometimes. I wasn't who I wanted to be, you know. And now I'm more like that guy. Because you pointed some things out to me. I didn't want to be a man who uses his badge to intimidate people. But still, it can hurt, Bones.'

She nodded again. 'You never do that to me. You're better at that kind of stuff, Booth.'

'You can be good at it too, Bones. Really. Just listen to others, listen to your own heart. Think about what the other person could feel.'

She nodded. 'I am sorry, you know. About what I said, that I wouldn't see you socially. And it isn't true, either.'

'Was it true back then?' he asked.

She thought about it. 'Probably. But not because I didn't like you. Because I didn't want to lose my imperviousness by telling you I had feelings for you. Or by admitting it to myself, really.'

He nodded. 'Yeah, I understand that. You thought you were.. not hurting me by saying it. Protecting me from yourself? Like you said that night. That I needed protecting from you? That was painful, too. A man can decide on his own who he needs protecting from, Bones.'

She looked at him, a slight blush on her cheeks. She knew it would come to this, her having to explain to him why he needed protecting from her.

'Why do you think that, Bones? Please?' he pleaded. And she owed him an explanation. She knew it.

'I.. I said I don't have your kind of open heart. And I don't.'

'That's one, not true, and two, not an explanation,' he said, and she sighed.

'Ok. What I meant to say was.. You give so much of yourself to protect me, to make me feel good, but the fact is.. I can't do the same. I can't live with you because I don't know how. I can't give you the love and happiness that you want, because I just don't know how.'

He shook his head. 'You're wrong, Bones. You know how. You always make me feel better, you know how. Just follow that instinct of yours, however underdeveloped you think it is, it'll help you. You know, brain and heart.'

'Overdrive?' she questioned. He nodded. 'Although that heart of yours can be quite aggressive while in overdrive, so just be careful not to hurt yourself trying to do what you think is best, ok?'

She nodded. 'I'll try. I still don't think I can be what you want,' she whispered.

'You already are, Bones. Don't change. I don't care about how open you think your heart is, or how scientific your brain is. It works for me, it works for us. It's you who I.. Who I care deeply for, and not some idealized version.'

He caught himself quickly, he was about to say 'you who I fell in love with,' but fortunately his brain had saved him from that fatal slip of the tongue.

She nodded again. 'Ok. And it's not that I don't know that love and affection are a good thing, Booth. I just.. Never.. You know, got the chance to look at it that way. I don't know what it feels like to know there is someone out there, just for you.'

'You do,' he whispered.

And she heard him.

'What do you mean?' she asked, frowning. Then, realization downed upon her.

'You mean.. You mean you think you and I are made for each other?'

He nodded. 'Come on, you knew that's what I thought.'

She nodded slowly. 'I didn't think I was right about my gut. But I can see the level of commitment you're willing to put into everything, yes.'

'Well,' he said, putting a hand over hers. 'One day, you'll be ready to accept that everything I want, is you. And you'll be ready to give it to me and you'll know what it means and how it feels to have someone out there, loving you, and only you for the rest of his life.'

Her eyes turned shimmery and a smile appeared on her face, a smile that made him forget his own name. 'Ok,' she whispered. 'But I'm not sure I'll be able to give you the same feeling.'

'You already do,' he whispered back. 'Bones, I know you love me and I know you'd do anything for me. And I know you need time to get to a point where you want to prove it to me, say the words to me, but I'll wait. And until then, I'll know from everything you do.'

His words shook her and she downed her scotch, closing her eyes against the burning in her throat and in her eyes.

When she looked back up, Booths eyes were looking straight at her and she saw the truth of his words. Yes, he's handsome. And yes, she's beautiful. And maybe that's all they see at first. But they, they were long past that point. They were committed. And they, they would rock each other's world.

**[Author's note: If you want to suggest scenes in which one of them 'lied' to the other, please do! I'll continue to write chapters as I come across interesting scenes re-watching Bones episodes: Stupid hi(h)at(e)us].**


	5. No More Lying

**[Author's Note: I've had this on my computer since the episode aired, and I just came across it and I liked it. I'll write about episodes from earlier seasons over the hiatus, but this is how I see that morning****. It´s kind of short, apologies. Enjoy. Spoilers (I suppose) for 6x22]**

5. No More Lying.

Brennan woke up first.

The sun was on the wrong side. It wasn't supposed to greet her from the left. It was supposed to be above her. Why was it on the left?

Then she felt something move. And she saw her own hand, holding someone else's hand. Right in front of her. And then she smelled him. Booth. And she smelled something else. Sex.

Then, everything hit home. Vincent, Booth's reaction. His plea to let him take her home. Her acceptance, his goodnight wish. Her insomnia. His kind words. Her tears, his arms. Her surrender. Their first time.

It had been mind blowing, thought shattering, fear eliminating, wonderful and amazing, and somehow, she couldn't bring herself to leave his side. She knew she probably had to, but she couldn't. His warm chest to her back, his legs between hers, his arm around her, his hand in hers in front of her naked chest.

Then she felt his hand tighten around hers and his breathing change. The hairs on her neck rose at the realization that he too had woken up. She lay impossibly still to gauge his reaction first, to see what he would do. No point in making decisions if he was going to run.

'Bones?' he whispered.

She kept quiet, willing her breathing to stay even.

'I know you're awake,' he said, his thumb caressing her hand. 'Please don't panic.'

She closed her eyes again, pushed her head into the pillow a little and sighed.

'I won't run, Booth.'

'Good,' he whispered back. 'Because I would have chased you if you had. I can't handle you running right now.'

She just nodded. 'I know.'

His heart was still fragile and tender and she had tried soothing it tonight, and she had succeeded, but the vulnerability he felt right now, at her mercy, his life depending on the decisions she made right now, made him ready to beg her to stay. But he didn't need to. She didn't make a move to get up, or even to separate herself from his embrace.

After a few moments of silence, she had gathered the strength to address the issue.

'Booth.. I'm tired of lying.'

He raised his head to try and find her eyes, but she kept them closed, finding it easier not to have to confront him. He lay back down, his hand still in hers.

'Lying? About what?' He didn't sound scared or confused, just soft and supporting. And that was what gave her the courage to see this through.

'About myself. To myself. I've been telling myself this wasn't an option. You know, us. Like this, together. But I'm not doing it anymore. I'm tired of it.'

He dared to press his lips to the base of her skull, his cheek brushing her hair. 'You mean about us?'

'Yeah,' she said, accepting his affection, returning it by squeezing his hand softly. 'I'm done trying to tell myself it's a partner thing.'

He smiled and released her, pulling her to turn around so she was facing him. 'You're amazing. You're right, you don't have to lie to yourself. It's not going to go away, Bones. We are who we are.'

'And we belong together,' she added. 'I know that now. I never liked the concept of belonging, and I still don't, but it's not about belonging to someone. It's belonging _with_ someone.'

His smile increased and he had to kiss her. He kissed her softly, and when he broke away, she was smiling too. 'It's strange that it took such a terrible thing to make me realize it.'

'But I'm glad you did,' he added. 'Realize it, I mean. You're right you know. I'd never say you belong to me. But I do believe we're a team. In every way, if you want to.'

She nodded, closing her eyes once more, enjoying their early morning intimacy. 'I want to.'

After a few moments of silence, he dared to speak again. He was still enjoying the buzz from what she'd just said, but he had to let her know some things too.

'I did always know, Bones. That wasn't just some trick to get into your pants. I knew.'

She smiled against his chest. 'It would have been a pretty lame trick, Booth. I knew you believed it. But I just wasn't sure. I mean.. We have such disagreements sometimes. I just wasn't sure we would be able to overcome those.'

'We won't,' he answered. 'Bones, we'll always have our disagreements. We have different opinions on a lot of stuff. But that doesn't make us wrong.' He sighed. 'God.. That feeling I got when I first saw you? Nothing changes that. Nothing compares to that. I knew you had a fire that I would never be able to live without.'

She frowned. 'But.. But we fought pretty bad back then, Booth.'

'Yeah, but you know, I was a different man. I mean, I didn't believe that people could change at first. But I was wrong, people do change. I've changed. I was a proud cop, full of himself, and you just threw me way off balance. You put a mirror in front of my face and showed me everything that was flawed with me. Right from the beginning. And back then, I couldn't handle that, but only because.. Because I knew you were right.'

Brennan rolled onto her back, and he did the same.

'Did you ever think of me in that year we weren't working together?'

She wanted to know, had wanted to know for a very, very long time. Had he?

He was silent for a few moments, debating whether or not to tell her the truth. He concluded the truth wouldn't be the safest option but it would be what she wanted, so he told her.

'Every day.'

'Really?' she asked, her voice soft.

'I ah.. I even came by the lab a couple of times to check if you were ok. And if you were still around.'

'I thought I saw you there once. So that was you. Why did you do it? You know I don't like to be spied on.'

He nodded. 'Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just.. I don't know, I felt like I had to protect you. And I could, in a way. Just by making sure you were still at the Jeffersonian, every once in a while. It just felt good, I suppose.'

She knew she had to be pissed but she wasn't. She just loved his dedication. 'Ok,' she said. 'I'm going to take a shower.'

Half an hour later she was preparing breakfast and he walked into the kitchen, just having finished his shower, his hair still wet.

'You ok?' he asked, when he saw her gaze fixed on her coffee and the sandwich in front of her. She almost jumped up, startled by his voice. 'Yeah, sure. I'm fine.'

'Ok.. Which tells me there's more. Come on Bones, I know you.'

'Yeah.. It's really nothing, Booth. Just.. Worried, about everything. There's so much we need to arrange for Vincent, and what we did, it shouldn't have happened, but it did and it was great, amazing even, and I don't know if..' He interrupted her. 'Hey. Take it easy. One step at a time, ok? We'll take care of Vincent first, then we'll discuss us. But right know you should know I loved last night, it wasn't a mistake, it was perfect. And I know you felt it too.'

'Yeah, and I'm just tired of saying no. To myself and to you.'

He took her hand over the table, looking into her eyes, like he had done a million times before. Only this time his life depended on her answer.

'Then don't. Let's do this. I'm no longer angry, and I think I'm ready to try this. But we won't know unless we try.'

She nodded slowly. 'I think I've reached a point where I can only improve further if I take the risk. My imperviousness.. It's almost gone. But I won't know for sure unless I open myself up and try this, right?'

'I like your logic,' he smiled. 'Thanks,' she answered.

And like that their decision was made. They would try this, this relationship that had been hanging between them for seven years now. The had both known it was inevitable, but both had tried to fight it for a long time. Now, they were tired, and just so much in love that really, there was only one way to do this. If some higher power decides you're in love, then there is nothing you can do about it. You're in love.

The heart chooses what it chooses, we don't really have a say in the matter, Gordon Gordon had once said. It's absolutely ludacris, the idea of you two together. But. And they were going to prove the but. This had worked for seven years, it could work for seventy.

Because a wise man once said: _Everything happens eventually. All that stuff that you think never happens? It happens. You just gotta be ready for it._


	6. Booth's Confessions

**[Author's note: I've been re-watching S6, and especially the first episodes pissed me off so bad I just had to write this. HH, I almost forgave you.]**

6. Booth's Confessions

That night, he was alone. She needed some time and space and he wanted her to have that so he had dropped her off and gone back to his place after dinner, but it felt wrong.

Last night had been wonderful, although it had been poor timing, he had no regrets and not one second he wanted to change.

Then Bones had accepted the situation, giving him the greatest gift he had ever hoped for, just like that, forgetting all his sins, forgiving him. And he had a lot to be forgiven for, he knew that. When they had seen Vincent's coffin off, singing sadly to a funny song, she had reached for him, locking her arms through his and leaning her head on his shoulder, and he had realized something.

The reason he and Hannah would never have worked was because of her. She was just everything he needed, wanted and desired. And nothing less. And she would always have been that, because even though Hannah had been able to take away some of his pain, only she could take away everything.

And he had been a jerk to her. He realized that now. A total, complete jerk to his best friend and the woman he loved so much he couldn't even admit it to himself. But she, she had simply absolved him of everything. She just trusted him completely, once more, after everything he had done to her. He didn't deserve that. And she deserved to know how much he regretted everything that had happened and everything he said to her, and everything he made her see.

So even though she had asked him for a little time, he had to talk to her. Now.

Temperance Brennan needed time. Time to think about everything, and she had been grateful to Booth for giving her that time. She had seen the desire to go with her in his eyes, but he hadn't, hadn't even asked twice.

She was running a bath, her back aching for some reason, and she knew a long soak in her bath would ruin her schedule, because she would want to go straight to bed afterwards, even if it was only eight, but it would definitely alleviate her pain and relax her, clear her head.

She got in and closed her eyes, moving her legs a little, feeling the water splash and move and soothe.

She hadn't been in the bath for more than ten minutes when she heard her doorbell. She decided if it was important, they would come back, and that the doorbell was not a good enough excuse to get her to leave her bath. So she ignored it, until she heard his voice.

'Bones? You in there?'

Frowning, she answered. 'Yeah, but I'm in the bathtub. Is something wrong?'

'No, but.. Can I talk to you? I have my own key.'

'Sure,' she called back. 'I'll be right out, give me a minute.'

'Oh no, I can come back tomorrow if you want, or we can..' She interrupted him. 'No, it's fine, I'll be right there.'

He dropped it and she heard the lock of her door click, Booth enter and the lock close again.

She hurried, leaving her warm tub and drying herself quickly before putting on her red kimono. She loved that garment and she knew Booth appreciated it, too. With her hair still damp and her face flushed from the warm water, she walked into her living room, finding him on her sofa. 'You want a beer?'

He nodded. 'Yeah, sure.'

She got two from her fridge and joined him on the couch. 'What's wrong?'

Booth sighed. 'I just.. I think we need to talk. About.. Before.'

'Before what?' Brennan asked, not following him. 'Before we.. Made love?'

'No.. Before me and Hannah.. Broke up. Before that. When I was with her.'

'I don't want to talk about that,' Brennan confessed softly, her eyes on the floor. 'I know, but can I talk about it? I mean, there are some things I need to tell you.'

She looked at him briefly. 'I'm not sure I want to hear it.'

'You want to hear it, Bones. Believe me,' he said softly, trying to convince her, his hand covering one of hers.

Finally, she nodded. 'Ok, you can talk about it. But if I want you to stop I'm going to tell you.'

'Yeah, you should. But it's really important,' he said. She nodded. 'Ok.'

'First of all.. Thanks, Bones. For everything. You just.. You forgave me, for everything I did, and I don't deserve that. I abandoned you and said things to you that weren't true and still you forgave me, just like that.'

She stayed quiet, just looking at him.

'I mean.. You just.. You thought I would try again. And then instead of that, I came back with someone else. And like the first thing I said to you was that I loved her. And you just said.. You just said you were happy for me. And I never.. I never told you that I didn't stop loving you. I just.. Ran away with her and I abandoned you.'

Brennan shook her head. 'No, Booth. You were in love with her, I understand that. And I was happy for you.'

'Yeah, but that's the point, Bones. You had no reason to be happy for me. I should have tried again with you. And you would have let me in, I don't doubt that for a second. So I was so wrong, and you just accepted it.'

'I accepted the fact that you had found someone else, yes, Booth. Because I want you to be happy. And at that point, I wasn't sure if I could make you happy, so I was glad you moved on. Because dwelling.. on me.. would have only caused you more harm.'

'You weren't ready,' Booth whispered to her, his eyes holding hers. 'But I thought you didn't want me. I just.. I'm so sorry.'

She nodded. 'So am I.'

'No, nothing about this is your fault, Bones.. I just wanted to talk to you about everything that happened, you know, because you have to know that I didn't realize. I didn't realize, Bones.'

She frowned, taking another sip of her beer. 'What?'

'That I was hurting you. So badly. Until you.. In the car, that's when I realized everything. And still, I kept on doing the same thing. There's no excuse.'

She smiled at him, tears coming to her eyes. 'It's ok, really. I understand your behavior and I was wrong to confess my feelings to you then. The case just got to me.'

'It was exactly right of you to do that. I needed to know, Bones. But I just.. I continued talking about her like she was the only one, I kissed her right in front of you, entwined fingers, even proposed.. And still you stood by me, being happy for me, seeing all that, while I just wanted it to be you. But I couldn't tell you that.. Because I still thought she was my chance at happiness, because you didn't want me. But I'm so sorry.'

She leaned into him. 'Can I..'

And like he had done for five years, and had wanted to do throughout the last year, he opened his arms for her and she leaned into him, her head to his chest, his heartbeat under her ear. The guy hug that had only once been just that. That would never again be just that.

Holding her close, he wondered for a brief second why he was dragging this all up again. Why he was torturing her with stuff she had already forgiven him off. But he knew the answer before he asked the question. He had to tell her because otherwise, he couldn't be sure she knew. He hoped she had known, but he couldn't be sure. He had been so convinced of his relationship with Hannah, and he had treated Bones so unfairly, that he just couldn't know for sure that she knew how much he regretted all of it and how much he wished he hadn't done any of it.

'I'm so sorry I said no to you,' Brennan whispered into his chest. 'I caused us so much.. Pain.'

He hugged her closer, his nose buried in her hair. 'No, no, Bones, don't be sorry. It's ok. You weren't ready, it was me who screwed it up. I didn't listen. I'm sorry for making you think you had to change. Because you don't. Don't change, Bones. Ever.'

They talked for a long time, about Hannah, about how Brennan felt, about why this all happened. They didn't find any real answers but still, talking about it made it better. Finally, Brennan just leaned into Booth's frame and let take care of her, make up for the time lost.

After a while, Brennan sat up straight again, moving away from Booth's warm body. 'We're quite a pair,' she smiled at him.

He nodded. 'And I'm glad we're on the same page again, Bones. I need that.'

'I need it too,' she confessed. 'Although I'm sure I would function without us being.. On the same page, I find it easier now that I don't have to turn the page.'

'Turn the page?' he questioned.

'Yes, to find you,' Brennan answered, a smile playing around her lips. 'That was quite humorous.'

He laughed. 'Yeah, it was. Look, I'll go back home, I just needed to tell you that. I'll give you as much time and space as you need.'

She considered for a moment.

'I.. I don't actually need any,' she said.

And even though she had said those words before, to someone else, they sounded dangerous even to her own ears. But she wasn't backing out. She smiled at him, he smiled back and relaxed on the couch. 'Ok. Then I'm staying.'

Brennan nodded. 'That would be wise.'

'I suppose you would like to finish your bath,' Booth tried.

'No way,' Brennan answered. 'You're already trying to get into the bath with me?'

'Yeah, of course I am,' he laughed. 'You're damn beautiful.'

'And you're quite handsome, but you're not getting in the bathtub with me. Not today, anyway.'

'Tomorrow?' he asked, and she had to laugh. This man was a handful. But in the best kind of way.

'Maybe tomorrow,' she answered, getting up to walk to the bathroom. She disappeared and his mind already started imagining what she was doing in there when she reappeared.

'And don't even think about making a bed on the couch,' she said, her tone serious. 'I sleep at the window.'

Disappearing into the bathroom again, she shut the door and leaned back against it, her heart racing. What was she doing? She had just invited Booth into her bed, and she wasn't going to back out on her decision. It had been the right one, she knew it. She heard him moving around and decided it was best to run her bath before she got second thoughts on letting him stay.

As the bath refilled and everything inside of her settled down, she felt only one thing. Happiness. It had been a while and for a time, she had thought she would never feel it again, but it was back.

As long as she had been around Booth and Hannah, she had been happy for them. But in the privacy of her home she had been mourning the loss of her best friend and partner, the man whom she loved, who would always provide her with anything she needed to the best of his abilities.

They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone, and Brennan believed that now. She had never considered what Booth and she had as a relationship. Not a romantic one anyway. But all the changes that had occurred between them at the arrival of Hannah had shown her that they had already been together. Just not in that final way. Hugs, touches and lingering looks had all disappeared with the arrival of the blonde. Now, she was out of the picture and Brennan found she hadn't just missed those moments, she craved them and now they were back she never wanted to lose them again.

In her bedroom, Booth had taken off everything except his boxers and t-shirt. Getting in on what was now his side of the bed, he smiled at himself. Everything was really all right. He hadn't messed up too bad, everything could be recovered, repaired and mended, they were solid, they were the centre. And they would hold.


End file.
